119: Sheila Gregoire | Exposing Lies Christians Believe About Sex

Sheila Gregoire joins Amber to discuss some of the harmful messages many popular Christian books have put out when it comes to sex, intimacy, and a man's need versus a woman's need.  We also discuss her new book The Great Sex Rescue.

Questions Sheila and I Discuss:

1. (3:34) Tell us a little about The Bare Marriage survey and what led you to embark on such a survey.
2. (6:05) What would you say is one of the most damaging, widely held beliefs about sex and marriage in evangelical culture that is actually preventing us from fully engaging in sex as God intended?
3. (12:15) Let's talk about sex and intimacy. What are the dangers of using those terms interchangeably?
4. (13:58) We're teaching young boys and young girls to it basically places blame back on young girls, you be modest. Because if you're not, you're causing him to be tempted and to lust. What's the mixed message there?
5. (18:02) In The Bare Marriage survey was "I didn't want to be naked in front of him" common response that may be related to the popular modesty discussion?
6. (23:16) What needs to be the message we share with young Christian kids and young Christian adults to shift their mindset from what sex is intended for, compared to their previous experience or what they were taught in youth group?
7. (26:16) Share about the dangers of duty sex.
8. (31:03) Talk about communication between spouses being the key to good sex.  
9. (36:05) You say that the harmful beliefs you measured are common beliefs in the evangelical world, but you wouldn't necessarily call them Christian beliefs. What would you say ARE Christian beliefs about sex?
10. (38:27) What do you hope The Great Sex Rescue accomplishes for Christians and their view of sex?

Quotes to Remember:

"All kinds of these books [Christian marriage books] talk about sex in terms of men's release, something that men need and that is just not the way the Bible talks about it....When we see it as something that men need, and women don't, then we can easily think all that's important during sex is that he gets release, and our experience doesn't even matter."

"I think that's why God uses sexual imagery to talk about His relationship with us. It's to tell us that sex is not just physical. It's a deep, intimate knowing, it's when you become totally vulnerable with one another in every way, and that is God's design for sex."

"We know from the Song of Solomon, that sex is also something which is really pleasurable for both people. It was never meant just for a man's release. It was meant for a woman's pleasure, as well."

SHOW NOTES cont.

Related Episodes:

• 38: Mo Isom | Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations The Church Forgot
• 91: Mary Flo Ridley | Let's Talk Birds and Bees
• 54: Nick Stumbo | Discovering Freedom From Pornography

Connect with Sheila Gregoire at tolovehonorandvacuum.com

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