42: Brandy Goebel | Hope and Healing After Marital Infidelity

Brandy and I chat about her extra marital affair and the work God has done in her life during the past 10 years since the affair ended. We chat about the unrealistic expectations we often put on our spouse, destructive behavior we use to numb ourselves, the Christlike invitation from her husband, and pressing in to recovery work.

6:08 Brandy shares how her faith journey with Jesus began

10:07 Brandy shares how she and Matt met.  She talks about the early years of their marriage

Youth With a Mission (YWAM)

• Discipleship Training Course
• Year of Biblical Studies

"When God is pursuing you, you can not outrun Him...but I sure tried."

"We got married in 1995 and I expected that everything from that point on was going to be exactly as I had planned...We're going to have 2 kids. We're going to have a cat and a dog. a white picket fence and he's going to be the spiritual leader and I'm going to be the Donna Reid type of wife....and that is 100% not what happened."

16:45 Brandy shares some of the warning signs in her personal life and in marriage that she can now see were precursors to her extramarital affair 

It boils down to unrealistic expectations..."I had the notion somehow that Matt would be able to meet all my needs."

Brandy is an enneagram 4- "I need a ton of validation."  Matt is anenneagram 5.  "He is very much a thinker."

"I don't fault myself for having those needs, but I fault myself very much for where I was looking for those needs to be filled."

20:09 Brandy shares about how the affair began.  We chat a little about the danger of thinking, "It will never happen to me."

Every Young Woman's Battle

Every Young Man's Battle

"One day a door opened and we both just decided to walk through it.  And it wasn't anything either of us had planned. It wasn't anything we had set out to do, but it was definitely something...we had both imagined or fancied or fantasized about for years." 

23:55 Brandy shares her thought process and ideas about God while involved in the affair

"I was running so far from God....Our marriage looked like it was doing fine. Anybody on the outside would have said our marriage was good. And the whole time I am thinking, 'I am living a complete double life, but if God didn't want this to be happening, then why would He allow all of these opportunities for us to keep getting together. He wouldn't allow it, if He didn't want it to be happening. 'So it was the most bizarre justification you can possibly imagine, because I knew God wasn't approving of this relationship, but it didn't seem like He was closing the doors to it either and for some reason that seemed logical to me."

27:30 Brandy shares about when the affair was exposed

 SHOW NOTES continued

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Listen to The Road Home To You Podcast with Brandy and Matt HERE.

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